Rhyming the News, From A Down to Z
Seuss I am not, as all can easily see....
To win your support, I’ll rhyme quick and I’ll hustle.
Sure I’m less William Blake — and more Nipsey Russell.
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All the links below are essential reads or provide helpful context.
It’s up to you to decide which is which.
A IS FOR APPLE TV+
Ted Lasso’s a footballer, he ain’t no wrestler.
With product placement not seen since HBO under Plepler.
B IS FOR BRAGG
The Manhattan DA, some say he done blew it.
Pals argue it ain’t bragging if you can do it.
C IS FOR COSTELLO
Not Elvis or “Abbott and,” this one’s a lawyer.
Now he’s out to become a Michael Cohen destroyer.
D IS FOR DESANTIS
On a Donald indictment, Florida’s guv has gone silent.
Not the usual stance of a man so defiant.
E IS FOR EVEN
Jayhawk v. Jayhawk, it was one epic battle
In the end, the lads from Manhattan showed how they don’t rattle.
F IS FOR FAIRLEIGH DICKINSON
Jersey boys were Cinderellas headed to the ball.
Nothing sweet for them now, they had a great fall.
G IS FOR GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS
A squad once formidable, flopping so much of late.
Risk missing the playoffs over something they ate.
H IS FOR HABERMAN
When Trump’s in the news, Timeswoman Maggie writes power.
Bylines galore make her Gotham City’s lady of the hour.
I IS FOR INDICTMENT
Could it come this week? everyone wonders.
Ask 99 people, opinions come in the hundreds.
J IS FOR JUSTIN
Canada PM to host Mr. Biden, his mate.
It appears there’s no presser on this North American date.
K IS FOR KOREA (NORTH)
Kim Jong Un launches missiles, I tell you, it’s scary.
Bangs his shoe, tells the South, “you, I will bury.”
L IS FOR LARRY SUMMERS
An inflation hawk for all seasons, with no water to carry.
Someone's gotta keep the American promise; you simply must meet Larry.
M IS FOR MADNESS
Stanford’s ladies were for sure a top seed.
But Ole Miss didn’t miss, they found a way to succeed.
N IS FOR NARRATIVE
When Donald met Stormy, it was lust at first sight.
The Times does the background on what happened that night.
O IS FOR OBSESSION
Rich Lowry argues that Trump is fixated on Ron.
Says it suggests high insecurity by Don.
P IS FOR PUTIN
Russia’s strongman pays a visit to the man they call “Xi.”
Kremlinologists will study the confab from Kiev to DC.
Q IS FOR QUIET
Leader McConnell’s still at it, doing his rehab.
Built in excuse to stiff Trump, which Mitch thinks is fab.
R IS FOR REALLY?
We all want a ball when we sit in the stands.
But who makes a grab with a camera in hands?
S IS FOR SANDLER
Adam was honored with a prize named for Twain.
Excuse if it’s needed to sing “The Chanukah Song” again.
T IS FOR TALKER
In TV that’s what they call a story compelling.
This week it will be Donald doing the telling.
U IS FOR UBS
The big bank comes in to rescue the Swiss.
Is too big to fail too big to miss?
V IS FOR VICTORY
Bruins and Huskies and Vols and the Cougars.
Tougher to choose than to dine at Pete Lugar’s.
W IS FOR WACKY WEATHER
For years, California was all about the no-water woes.
When along came the atmosphere river, burying the state in the snows.
X IS FOR XAVIER
Cincy’s lads pass the ball, selfless to a fault.
Next up: Texas Longhorns is who they must vault.
Y IS FOR YELLEN
All the focus for now seems to be on Jerry Powell.
No one seems to want Madame Secretary to throw in the towel.
Z IS FOR ZERO
For some readers, these rhymes hold less than no use.
If you only knew how long they took to produce!
And to all a good morn…..