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When there is a global news mega event happening as I write on an otherwise slow Monday, the best bet is to get out of the way.
Or: best to provide the vast Wide World of News audience with some alternative lyrics to the massive hit song “Royals” by Lorde.
Those of you who know the ditty are much more likely to appreciate what I have done here than those of you who don’t.
To remind you:
You’ve never seen Mr Trump in the flesh
He cut his teeth on mobster stuff in the movies
And he’s not feeling any stress
A torn up town, no Gang of envy
But every song's like
Big teeth, aviators, was that Joe Trippi in the bathroom?
DeSantis, ball player, trashin' up the faculty room
He don't care
They’re driving the big Beast in their dreams
But everybody's like
Ted Cruz, Newsom, donors on your call sheet
Jet planes, issues, schedulers with a short leash
They don't care
They aren't caught up in a fundraising tear
And they’ll never be royals (royals)
It don't run in their blood
That kind of luxe just ain't for us
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your POTUS (POTUS)
You can call The Veep queen bee
And Pelosi, she’ll rule (she'll rule, she’ll rule, she’ll rule)
Let her live that fantasy
Garland and Co., they've cracked the code
They think about charges on the train to the party
And everyone who knows them knows
That they’re fine with this, they didn't come for money
But every pundit's like
Ted Cruz, Newsom, donors on your call sheet
Jet planes, issues, schedulers with a short leash
They don't care
They’re flying AF1 in their dreams
But everybody's like
Mike Pence, Polis, betting on..oh sheesh
Jet planes, issues, schedulers on a short leash
They don't care
These hopefuls need to grow a pair
But they’ll never be royals (royals)
It don't run in their blood
That kind of luxe just ain't for us
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your ex POTUS (ex POTUS)
You can call them former Ps
And baby, they’ll skip (they’ll skip, they’ll skip, they’ll)
Obama, Bush prefer sports on TV
Oh
Oh (oh, oh)
Ronnie D’s bigger than he ever dreamed
And/but he’s in love with being Fox’s queen
Oh
Oh (oh, oh)
Joe Biden’s without a care
He's got poll standing left to spare
He and Jilly will never be royals (royals)
It don't run in their blood
That kind of luxe just ain't for us
Liking leaders just like us, always t’was
Let them be our ruler (ruler)
Donilon will build machinery
And baby, he'll run (he’ll run, he’ll run, he’ll run)
He thinks he still beats Trump handily
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ESSENTIAL READING
1. The transcript of the “60 Minutes” interview with President Biden is here; different press agencies led with different bits (2024, Mar-a-Lago, the pandemic), but the Associated Press seems most keen on the POTUS once again changing U.S. policy towards Taiwan but/and his administration says he is not.
2. The New York Times on inflation and the midterms.
Vladimir Putin’s economic campaign to force European governments to abandon support for Ukraine by sharply curbing their natural-gas supplies looks to be faltering as gas prices fall, Russian government finances deteriorate and the continent sets plans to ease the pressure on households and businesses.
4. Today is NOT the day when peace breaks out between Blue and Red, with this New York Times classic:
Trump Rally Plays Music Resembling QAnon Song, and Crowds React
In Ohio, a dark address by the former president featured music that was all but identical to a theme song for the conspiracy theory movement.
….. and with Andrew McCarthy’s eye-popping piece about the FBI’s role in the Russiagate probe.
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