A Dog Walks Into a Newsletter...
Slow-ish news morning, so let’s review some important canine journalism terms:
DOG DAY AFTERNOON
The parents of a teen accused of killing four students in a shooting at a Michigan high school were caught early Saturday, several hours after a prosecutor filed involuntary manslaughter charges against them, officials said.
James and Jennifer Crumbley were captured in a commercial building in Detroit that housed artwork, Detroit Police Chief James E. White told a news conference. White said the couple “were aided in getting into the building,” and that a person who helped them may also face charges.
A Detroit business owner spotted a car tied to the Crumbleys in his parking lot late Friday, Oakland County Undersheriff Michael McCabe said in a statement. A woman seen near the vehicle ran away when the business owner called 911, McCabe said. The couple was later located and arrested by Detroit police.
MAN BITES DOG
The New York Times on the impossible:
All over New York City, bagel makers say, a schmear shortage is threatening one of the most treasured local delicacies: a fresh bagel with cream cheese.
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DOGS OF WAR
Russian President Vladimir Putin is amassing a force expected to total 175,000 troops near Russia’s border with Ukraine, giving him the capability for a potential invasion of his neighbor by early 2022, Biden administration officials said Friday.
The officials, citing new intelligence reports that include images from spy satellites, said the Russian military buildup differs markedly from an earlier massing of troops in the spring. When completed, they said, it will be twice the size of that previous buildup. In addition, Russia has embarked on a rapid mobilization of reservists.
DOG AND PONY
If President Joe Biden’s $2 trillion social and environment package was a Broadway show, its seven months on Congress’ stage could qualify it as a hit. But lawmaking isn’t show business, and many Democrats worry that with the curtain falling soon on 2021, time is not their friend….
The longer it takes to finish the $2 trillion package, the longer it can be vulnerable to factors — predictable and unforeseen, economic and political — that might complicate Schumer’s task.
“You let things sit around here, particularly past a Christmas vacation and into an election year, and that is toxic,” said Rep. Pramila Jayapal, D-Wash., a leader of her party’s progressives.
AS SICK AS A DOG
Former Montana Governor Steve Bullock pens a New York Times op-ed in which he correctly argues his Democratic Party has a problem with rural voters…and then proceeds to propose to solve the problem with a string of the most shopworn cliches you have ever read. Can you count more than 15 of them?
EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY
As Donald Trump’s lawyers try to block the White House from releasing records to the congressional committee investigating the Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection, the former president faces a flurry of other investigations that could come to a head in the coming weeks and the new year.
That includes two major state criminal investigations — one in New York and one in Georgia — and lawsuits concerning sexual assault allegations, a fight over an inheritance and questions of whether he should be held personally liable for inciting the insurrection.
DOG DOES NOT EAT DOG
Via the New York Post (still looking through the newly released investigative documents from the Empire State’s attorney general): one former Cuomo aide allegedly got another former Cuomo aide to allegedly secretly record a phone conversation with yet another former Cuomo aide, after allegedly getting permission to do it from a fourth former Cuomo aide.
DOG WITH A BONE
Cough, cough, indeed.
DOG AND DUCK
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