How MAGA Are You?
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Every Saturday here at the Wide World of News we bend to reality and give you what you want: The weekly quiz allowing you to determine JUST HOW MAGA ARE YOU??
So grab a pen and scorecard, answer the questions, and at the end you will find our sliding scale on which to place yourself and tell all your friends and family how you did.
HERE….WE….GO!!!
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1. When you look at this:
And this:
…and read all these ripped-from-2016 details about traffic, tickets, and vendors selling Trump merchandise, you feel
A. Exhilarated and planning to build your Saturday night around watching the rally.
B. More uninterested than disinterested.
C. Curious about how MSNBC will address the event on Sunday morning.
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2. In going through the essential reading Associated Press story about Donald Trump and the Republican Party, you come upon this section:
[D]issent from Trump’s election lie within the GOP remains rare. From Ohio to Georgia and Arizona, candidates running for Senate, governor and attorney general have fully embraced Trump’s falsehoods as they have tried to win over his endorsement, deflect his fury or win over his base.
In the short term, such positioning may help Republican candidates come out on top in primary fields that are often crowded. But there are concerns that it could hurt the party in the fall, especially among suburban voters who have become increasingly decisive in recent campaigns. The further to the right that Republicans go now, the easier it could become for their Democratic rivals to portray them as extreme in a general election.
And any time candidates spend looking backward is time not spent attacking President Joe Biden, who is seen as particularly vulnerable amid rising inflation and coronavirus cases.
Reading those paragraphs makes you feel like:
A. The Lamestream Media will never stop its corruption.
B. It is insane that Republicans who want to win in the suburbs in 2022 are still tethered to Trump.
C. Pushing back against the Big Lie is the only chance Democrats have of holding onto the House.
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3. In the growing Trump versus DeSantis feud, you root for
A. Trump.
B. DeSantis.
C. The contretemps to end with two dead scorpions in an elephant-shaped bottle.
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4. This quote (in an essential reading New York Times story about political panic within the Democratic Party):
“I think millions of Americans have become very demoralized — they’re asking, what do the Democrats stand for? Clearly, the current strategy is failing and we need a major course correction…”
…was uttered by
A. Hillary Clinton.
B. Bernie Sanders.
C. A “senior White House official.”
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5. This quote (in an essential reading Associated Press story about political panic within the Democratic Party):
“People are feeling like they’re getting less than they bargained for when they put Biden in office. There’s a lot of emotions, and none of them are good. I don’t know if the right word is ‘apoplectic’ or ‘demoralized.’ We’re down. We’re not seeing the results…”
….was uttered by
A. Quentin Wathum-Ocama, president of the Young Democrats of America.
B. Virginia Senator Tim Kaine.
C. David Plouffe.
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6. When reading about the latest provocative moves by Vladimir Putin in his faceoff with the West, you feel
A. Russia is badly misunderstood.
B. Outrage that Trump was ever criticized for his Russia policy.
C. Joe Biden is playing a weak hand as well as he can.
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7. Now I would like you to read passages from two stories about the Biden-Harris-Klain-Pelosi-Schumer economy, and then you will answer a question:
High demand for groceries combined with soaring freight costs and Omicron-related labor shortages are creating a new round of backlogs at processed food and fresh produce companies, leading to empty supermarket shelves at major retailers across the United States.
Growers of perishable produce across the West Coast are paying nearly triple pre-pandemic trucking rates to ship things like lettuce and berries before they spoil. Shay Myers, CEO of Owyhee Produce, which grows onions, watermelons and asparagus along the border of Idaho and Oregon, said he has been holding off shipping onions to retail distributors until freight costs go down. (Reuters)
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U.S. retail spending and manufacturing slowed at the end of 2021 as the Covid-19 Omicron variant and inflation surged, early signs the latest complications from the pandemic could be weighing on the economy.
Sales at retail stores, online and restaurants dropped by 1.9%, damping the end of the holiday shopping season, the Commerce Department said on Friday. (Wall Street Journal)
The best way for you to personally sum up these stories is
A. Biden has no clue on the economy – he’s never even signed the back of a paycheck.
B. My supermarket is out of stock of a lot of stuff.
C. Donald Trump is a scary threat to democracy and American values; he can never be allowed to return to the White House.
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8. Former President Mike Pence has an op-ed in the Washington Post in which he denounces both the events of 1/6/21 and the Democrats’ election law bill.
Pence’s article makes you feel
A. That man will never be the Republican nominee for….anything.
B. Confused about who is giving Pence PR advice.
C. Confused about your own deeply ambivalent, inner love/hate relationship with Mike Pence.
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9. You consider this New York Post headline to be
A. Fair and balanced.
B. Not as interesting as the paper’s four Saturday Kanye stories.
C. Unfair to Jen Psaki.
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10. In reading about Team Biden’s continuing attempts on vaccines, masks, and at-home testing kits, you feel
A. Too much, too late.
B. Too little, too late.
C. Can’t anyone here play this game?
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11. The Washington Post has yet another semi-essential-reading, thumb-sucking look at the political state of the Veep’s union, which includes this paragraph:
Articles about Harris have obsessed over her laugh, delved into her distrust of Bluetooth ear buds and criticized her affinity for pricey Parisian cookware.
That passage makes you
1. Burst out in your own (more dignified) cackle.
2. Wonder if the Dominant Media will ever get over its Groundhog Day obsession with Kamala Harris’ style.
3. Terrified that Donald Trump is going to win back the White House in 2024.
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Tally up your replies and then use this scale to determine JUST HOW MAGA ARE YOU??
0-3: You are more George than Kellyanne.
4-7: Win special MLK Day Cameo video from Chris Christie.
8-9: Enjoy Sunday brunch with Steve Cortes in the Trump Hotel lobby.
9-11: Montana hunting trip with Don, Jr. and Kimberly.
