THE MOST UPBEAT FAKE RON KLAIN MEMO OF ALL TIME
As they say in Novosibirsk, There is no joy like Russian joy.
On the occasion of the death of Mikhail Gorbachev, the Wide World of News presents for you two essential viewing videos showcasing the best of Russian joy.
1. The classic Gorbachev Pizza Hut ad:
2. Former Russian President Medvedev grooving down to “American Boy.”
You won’t see videos like this in today’s editions of Playbook, Axios AM, or Punchbowl (which isn’t even publishing this week….). Sure, their coverage of birthdays, employment trends, and congressional committee jockeying is far superior to what you get here.
But that Pizza Hut ad!!
Oh, and the FAKE Ron Klain memos!!
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THE FOLLOWING IS NOT A REAL MEMO FROM RON KLAIN TO JOE BIDEN.
****
TO: JRB
FROM: Ron Klain
DATE: 8/31/22
RE: An August to remember!!!
"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."
- Woody Hayes
Good morning, Mr. President, Mr. Commander-in-Chief, Mr. In Demand on the Campaign Trail, Mr. Rising Polls, and Mr. Not Donald Trump!!
This doesn’t need to be a long daily briefing memo because…well, we are talking ten times a day (or more!) these days about how great it all is!!!
To put it in terms you will understand: Everything’s coming up roses!!
All that water under all those bridges has sluiced through.
We are on good terms with Speaker Pelosi (BBB!), Vice President Harris (found her footing on abortion rights), Merrick Garland (no longer do we wonder “WTF??!!”), the business lobby (they know we could well keep the majority), progressives (college freebies, anyone? Or: EVERYONE!), and the center-left (FUND the police!).
Even Rahm has stopped telling people we have no idea what we are doing!
You’ve even stopped complaining to your pals that I’m too big for my well-fitting britches.
And, Mr. President, most of all, the base has come home.
By which, I of course mean: The media is back on our side in full force.
No POTUS interviews? No problem.
Afghanistan anniversary? Not as compelling as to our friends in the press as every Mar-a-Lago twist and turn.
There is no group more interested in making the midterms a “choice” election rather than a “referendum” on you than the media.
True, as the Bush folks told me after they took office in 2001, there are not a lot of David Broders in the current political or White House press corps. It is a little depressing to reach this level of government service and be covered by (and have to deal with) a bunch of “reporters” whose historical memory goes back no further than Trump’s escalator ride and whose level of sophistication about American elections is on par with your average Dutch high school student.
But the advantage is we can manipulate them from now through November with planned “leaks,” polling data, presidential statements/travel, and ANYTHING WE SAY ABOUT DONALD TRUMP.
We know now not to make the FDR comparisons anymore, but this crowd will buy our claiming you are already the most successful Democratic president since LBJ (a run that includes Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, in case you forgot) – and we can say it not just because the press has re-donned their “Biden” jerseys but because it’s true.
Politico might not have actually seen me doing one of those jigs of joy I’ve taken to executing around the White House, but they might as well have video!!!
Look at what they wrote this morning:
[S]enior West Wing aides say they feel vindicated in the course they have charted….
Inside the White House, officials say there has been an obvious joy in the president that has been largely absent for months, amid negative headlines over inflation, gas prices, baby formula shortages, and criticism to his response to the Supreme Court’s overturning of federal abortion rights. With his newly boosted immunity from overcoming COVID and a rebound case, Biden gleefully took selfies with supporters for more than 10 minutes following his remarks last week in Maryland….
Biden’s approval ratings have climbed into the mid-40s, the highest they have been this year. And Democrats who are bullish about the party’s chances point to a history-bending swing in his numbers during a time when most experts predicted they would be set in stone: Since Eisenhower’s presidency, just one president has seen their approval rise from the fifth quarter of their tenures to the seventh…..
[A]ides now believe that the president’s numbers could rise even higher when Democrats further establish contrasts with Republicans on abortion, the Jan. 6 hearings and now Trump’s conduct that led to the search of Mar-a-Lago.
“You’re always behind. You always have a different narrative before the next one really starts to take hold,” quipped John Anzalone, the longtime Biden pollster. “We’re on the offense and what’s more important is what the president and Democrats have done is give frontline Democrats a real contrast to draw with Republicans.”
Ron Brownstein went with this lead about the midterm tide changing dramatically (rather than the more Bidenesque “Don’t compare me to the Almighty. Compare me to the alternative”):
It was a referendum. Now it's a choice.
Two of the top (and most honest) Republican pollsters are out today speaking the truth about where things stand in ways that Anzo couldn’t top, explaining why the Red tsunami is done and dusted.
"It is a really unusual election," said Republican pollster Bill McInturff of Public Opinion Strategies. "Republicans have significant advantages on their set of issues (inflation, economy, crime, border security) and Democrats enjoy significant advantages on issues of concern to their voters (abortion, climate change, guns, health care). There is no overlap, no competitive issues. This means each party has an unusual opportunity to try to create their own narrative to their own voters on what this election is about."
“The Dobbs decision has clearly energized Democratic voters to the point where they have closed the enthusiasm gap with Republicans,” said Whit Ayres, a longtime GOP pollster, referencing the Supreme Court ruling that ended the constitutional right to terminate a pregnancy. Asked whether it hurts the GOP to have Trump back in the news, Ayres replied, “The best case for Republican candidates in the midterms is making the upcoming election a referendum on the Biden administration.”
He added: “Anything that distracts from that focus weakens the Republican position.”
The Washington Post story about all those Trump-backed, pro-life Republican nominees trying to erase history (“At least nine Republican congressional candidates have scrubbed or amended references to Trump or abortion from their online profiles in recent months, distancing themselves from divisive subjects that some GOP strategists say are two of the biggest liabilities for the party ahead of the post-Labor Day sprint to Election Day.”) contains this classic gem:
Spokesmen for the National Republican Congressional Committee and the National Republican Senatorial Committee did not respond to a request for comment.
“No comment” because they have no answer!
And rest assured, Mr. President, the DNC/DCCC/DSCC oppo research operations are going to make these MAGA extremists own everything they have ever said about Trump and abortion.
The Murdoch Wing of the Republican Party knows how bad things are, with the Wall Street Journal ed board onto the prospects of a Michigan abortion rights referendum that would ensure Democratic wins up and down the ballot and an op-ed piece pointing out that Republicans have NO IDEAS to run on.
Here’s a fun game!
One of these paragraphs was written by Heather Cox Richardson and one by the New York Post ed board – can you guess which is which???
1. “President Joe Biden’s record is unexpectedly strong going into the midterms, and he is directly challenging Republicans on the issues they formerly considered their own.”
2. “[If t]he focus is on Trump…enraged Democrats will unite, pause their intercine warring while independents will abstain or vote against the GOP.”
The answer is: It doesn’t matter anymore!
Another quiz: Who said this, Barney Frank or “a former Trump campaign official?
“I think you’re seeing some first-time candidates who realized maybe they weren’t very prudent during their primaries and now are trying to correct for that. They played the part in the primary, got the Trump endorsement, made calculations to win the primary that aren’t so great in the general.”
Asked if Trump’s enhanced presence hurts Republicans, [the person] responded, “Yes.”
Per the Washington Post, that was a “former Trump campaign official”!!
I have to give myself credit for long ago walling off the White House – even the counsel’s office – from anything having to do with the DOJ investigations of President Trump and of Hunter. By creating that absolute barrier, no one is every going to be able to credibly accuse us of interfering in either probe.
Although I have to say, from afar, I’ve admired the cadence and nature of the spoon-fed “leaks” going to the Post, Times, and Journal on the Trump stuff. For whatever reason (!) they are ensuring that your “predecessor” stays in the news nonstop from now until Election Day, keeping our party united, the media firmly on our side, and the focus off of inflation and baby formula.
Don’t worry, though, boss, we are vigilant on anything that could go wrong in September or October. There will surely be surprises, but we are doing our best to stay ahead of the curve. The good news is no one is talking about leaving now, or how exhausted they are, or what a pain the OVP is.
Politico well frames our watch list:
[S]ome Democrats, aides confirm, are still opting to steer clear of Biden on the campaign trail, and worries persist about inflation and a possible autumn surge of gas prices or Covid. Others have signaled that they would not want to appear with Biden.
We will have Draft #81 of your Thursday Philly speech to you this morning. We continue to hone the number of and nature of the Trump references, but our margin of error, with the media back on our team, is +/- a trillion.
Whatever you say Thursday, as long as it has a noun, a verb, and the name “Trump” the press will eat it up and amplify it, allowing us to dominate the coverage from tomorrow through Labor Day with the framing of “freedom, sanity, and unity” versus “MAGA, Trump, and division.”
It’s enough to make the best White House chief of staff since Jim Baker (some people are saying, maybe better than Baker) do a jig or three.
Talk to you after your workout!!!!!!